Bartenders Secretly Judge You If You Say These 7 Things at a Bar
Bars run best when orders are clear, people are cool, and the line keeps moving. Speak up, know what you like (or at least kind of what you like), and treat your bartender like the hardworking human they are, not a vending machine with tattoos. You’ll not only get a better drink, you might even make their night easier.
Here’s a guide to what not to say when ordering at a bar, and maybe get your drink a little faster.
“Surprise Me.”
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Sounds spontaneous, right? Except it puts the bartender in a weird spot. Without knowing your tastes, allergies, or the kind of night you’re hoping for, they’re basically playing a risky roulette. If you want something unexpected, try leading with what spirits or flavors you’re into.
“Don’t You Know How to Make a [Random Drink]?”
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You clearly remember that drink you had once on a beach in Tulum with a flower on top. Your bartender probably doesn’t. And even if they do know the recipe, they might not have the obscure elderflower foam or smoked salt rim your Instagram memory requires. Stick to what they can actually make, or ask nicely for something similar.
“I’ll Take White Wine With Ice.”
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Chilled wine is totally fine. In fact, winemakers even recommend it in some cases. But tossing ice cubes in your glass is a fast track to watering it down and masking the flavor. If you’re roasting from the summer heat, ask if they’ve got a colder pour or a wine spritzer.
“Make It Strong.”
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This phrase implies you want more quantity without paying for it. Bartenders aren’t there to cut corners or hand out free pours. If you want a stronger drink, ask for a double or choose something spirit-forward. Well-balanced beverages are designed to be enjoyable, not knock you off your barstool immediately.
“Uhhh…”
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We’ve all been there—menus are long, choices are many—but when it’s your turn, hesitation stalls the line and throws off the flow. If you’re not sure what to order, come armed with a question: “What’s good with bourbon?” “Anything citrusy?” The bartender can guide you, but only if you meet them halfway.
“Whatever’s Cheapest.”
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Oof. This one hits like a flat beer. It tells the bartender you don’t care about the drink, just the price. It’s fine to be budget-conscious, but you’ll get way better results if you say something like, “What do you have that’s easy on the wallet but still solid?” That opens the door to a decent pour without sounding like you’re rummaging through the discount bin.
“Can You Hurry It Up?”
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Bars are not express lanes. If it feels like things are moving slowly, odds are the team is sprinting behind the scenes to keep up. Snapping fingers, tapping on the bar, or throwing impatient glances won’t make your drink appear faster.
“One Long Island Iced Tea.”
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This drink is infamous among bartenders for good reason. It’s high in alcohol and often associated with rowdy nights. While technically a legitimate order, it’s rarely appreciated in upscale or mixology-focused environments. If you’re after something strong, ask for a cocktail with similar strength but better balance and flavor.
“What’s Good?”
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Here’s the thing: if a bartender had a nickel for every time someone asked this vague question, they’d own the bar by now. It’s not that they don’t want to help, but when the place is buzzing and the menu’s right in front of you, it may come across as frustrating.
“I Said Tito’s and Vodka!”
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It’s a common mistake, but doubling down on it turns a small slip into an embarrassing scene. Most bartenders know you meant Tito’s and soda, but arguing won’t help. Learn the basic terminology and trust their instincts. You’ll get your drink faster, and the bartender won’t have to decode your order.
“I Don’t Like This.”
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If you try something new and hate it, don’t demand a redo unless it was a clear mistake. Bartenders usually can’t comp drinks just because you gambled and lost. If you’re polite and upfront, many will try to fix it or offer an alternative. Downing half and then complaining is poor form.
“Just One More…”
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Asking for “just one more” as the staff is closing is disrespectful to their time and obligations. If the bar is cleaning up, they’re done for the night. Order during the last call or come back another time. Lingering with a full drink just delays their night.
“Give Me a Drink.”
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Being vague and demanding makes things awkward. “A drink” covers a pretty massive range, from a crisp IPA to a mezcal Negroni to a flaming tiki monster. Even if you’re not sure what you want, tossing out a base spirit or vibe helps narrow the field.
“What Do You Have On Tap?” Without Looking
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You know those chalkboards with the beer list? They’re not just decorative. Asking what’s on draft without even glancing at the menu is like walking into a bookstore and saying, “What books you got?” If you don’t recognize something, ask about a couple. But listing all 18 beers when it’s loud and busy isn’t reasonable.
“I’ll Take the Same Thing They Had.”
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Unless your friend just ordered, and the bartender definitely heard it, this move is a gamble. “The same” sounds simple, but it’s easy for wires to cross, drinks to mix up, and the wrong order to land in front of you.