Pregnancy brings out the most unfiltered commentary from people who usually know better. The magical time when your body is doing something extraordinary, somehow, makes everyone think they have the permission to say whatever pops into their heads. Strangers touch your belly without asking, coworkers turn into life coaches, and relatives casually ask questions that cross lines you didn’t know existed.
If you’re ever unsure what to say, here’s a guide to what you definitely shouldn’t.
“Are You Sure It’s Not Twins?”
Credit: Canva
This one’s a classic. There’s nothing like being told you look extra pregnant. It might sound like innocent curiosity, but this one usually lands as a thinly veiled comment on size. For the record, people carry pregnancies in all sorts of ways, and none of them are your business unless you’re the OB-GYN.
“You’re Still Pregnant?”
Credit: Getty Images
This one may seem like small talk, but to someone overdue or just exhausted, it feels like a jab. By month nine, time has basically stopped. Asking this is the verbal equivalent of poking someone with a stick and saying, “Wow, you look tired.” It’s not helpful, and it sure doesn’t make the baby arrive any faster.
“Was It Planned?”
Credit: freepik
Here’s a fun rule of thumb: if the answer could involve contraception, past relationships, or life goals, maybe don’t ask unless invited. Simply smile, say congrats, and keep it moving.
“Are You Going to Try for a Girl/Boy Next?”
Credit: Getty Images
Let’s give this one a rest. After all, giving birth isn’t the same as a sports team draft. Suggesting they “balance” their family reduces a huge life decision to a weird gender equation. Celebrate this baby. The rest is none of your business (and might not even be on their radar).
“Wow, You’re So Big!”
Credit: pixabay
Pointing out how large someone looks only invites self-consciousness. Weight gain is an unavoidable and necessary part of pregnancy, and framing it as startling, excessive, or unusual doesn’t help. Nobody wants to hear “Whoa!” when they walk into a room, especially when they're already hauling around a watermelon 24/7.
“Are You Going to Breastfeed?”
Credit: freepik
Yes, feeding is part of the baby conversation, but it’s also super personal. Some people have a plan, some are figuring it out, and others are just hoping for a full night’s sleep someday. Unless you’re their lactation consultant, it’s not your lane.
“Are You Going to Have a Natural Birth?”
Credit: Canva
Interesting fact: there’s no such thing as an unnatural birth. They all count. Whether someone’s birthing with a doula in a birch forest or having a C-section under fluorescent lights, it’s a birth—and it’s valid. Skip the hierarchy.
“Will You Keep Working After the Baby?”
Credit: Canva
Questions like this presume a lot about someone's finances, career goals, and values. They also reinforce outdated ideas that parenting and professional ambition are incompatible. If she wants to talk career plans, she will. If not, assume she’s got it handled.
“Sleep Now While You Still Can”
Credit: Getty Images
Okay, we can all admit that newborns are nocturnal chaos machines. But pregnancy insomnia is already a thing, and no one needs a sleep-deprivation prophecy hanging over their head. Being told parenthood is a never-ending nightmare doesn’t prepare anyone; it just adds stress to an already taxing time. Instead, maybe offer snacks. Snacks are always welcome.
“You Really Shouldn’t Eat That”
Credit: Getty Images
Unsolicited advice about what a pregnant person puts in their body is rarely welcome. Medical professionals already provide extensive guidance, and strangers or acquaintances rarely have more accurate or personalized information.
“I Thought You Didn’t Want Kids”
Credit: freepik
People change. So do circumstances, relationships, and five-year plans. Dragging up an offhand comment from college doesn’t score points. It just puts someone on the defensive. Celebrate who they are now, not who they were at 22.
“You’re Naming the Baby What?”
Credit: Canva
The name is picked. It’s been debated, Googled, sleep-tested, and possibly argued over for weeks. Responding with shock, criticism, or a story about a weird ex with the same name is not helpful. Just smile and say, “That’s lovely!” even if it sounds like a Pixar sidekick.
“Are You Hoping for a Boy or Girl?”
Credit: Getty Images
This is a popular question, but it often assumes there’s a “better” answer. Many expectant parents are more focused on health, safety, and surviving labor than color-coordinated onesies. If they want to share, they will—but skip the gender guessing game.
“You’re Too Young/Too Old to Be Having a Baby”
Credit: freepik
Age-based comments always feel like judgment. The pregnant individual has likely already heard all the opinions. Reminding them—directly or indirectly—that they don’t fit your idea of the “right” age doesn’t serve anyone.
“Let Me Tell You About My Birth Story…”
Credit: pixelshot
What’s even the purpose of sharing horror stories about endless labor or medical emergencies? Unless asked, sharing traumatic details about your delivery only heightens fear. Save the birth war stories for people who explicitly ask. Pregnancy already comes with enough anxiety—no need to add your plot twist.
